Wired

Wired. Hard wired. Homerun wired. Wired direct from my computer out to the Bellsouth box in the street. Happy girl. Do not stop, do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars. Do yank out yards and yards of old yucky mid 1960's cabling and replace it with shiny new 2008 cabling. (Not that there's anything wrong with the mid 1960's - only cabling from that era is old and yucky. People from the mid 1960's are quite lovely, youthful, fresh and beautiful.)

Low Voltage Guy: Ah, ma’am, do you have a trashcan for these wires and cables?
Me: Sure, why don’t you just use this big, huge, blue tub.
LVG: Well ma’am, that’s sort of a nice bucket. Don’t you have a trashcan somewhere?
Me: A trash can?! Oh, no! I want to keep all this mess.
LVG: (looking wary) Ma’am?
Me: (nodding head) Oh yes, I definitely want to keep it. Definitely. Please put in all in here. Thank you. I want to take a picture of it.
LVG: You what?
Me: (smiling slightly) I want to take a picture of it.
LVG: Ah, well, um, yes Ma’am. Here you go.
Me: Thanks so much. This is perfect.

Me: (in my head, singing/dancing- Yes! A picture! A picture to show my friends why I’ve been gone for so long. A picture to show all my INVISIBLE friends that the problem has been dealt with and that these new cables should shake with fear while transmitting the pictures of their sad, old and now very dead precursors and that they should be warned that I can flick my magic wand and make this happen to them and they will end up in a bucket if they do not obey my bidding! Bwah hahahahaha) (Ok, so I’ve missed you guys a lot).

Thank you for hanging in there with me! I’ve got some catching up to do. Hugs, hugs and more hugs for all the well wishes you sent and I’ll be seeing you soon! Online!